What to Do When Life Gets Tough

Finding hope and perseverance

Author: ANGO CHELSY KIHLA 

Life is unpredictable, and challenges are inevitable. I have witnessed people going through a lot and this is the way out.

Everyone faces tough times, but it’s how we respond that matters. Here are 10 detailed points to help you navigate life’s challenges:

1. Stay Calm and Focus

What it means:
Staying calm is keeping your head when pressure rises. Focusing is directing energy toward what matters now.

Why this matters right away:
When pain, shame, or failure show up, panic scatters your energy. Calm allows you to think, and focus turns thought into useful steps.

A hard truth to remember:
“Every successful person has a painful story.” That pain is often the raw material for focus — if you stay calm you can turn painful lessons into plans.

How to practice:

• Use 3–5 deep breaths to reset.
• Ask: “What one thing can I do in the next hour?”
• Remove distractions and work that one thing.

Example: A young man lost his job without warning and had no savings. Instead of reacting in anger, he spent two quiet days mapping his skills and networking. Within a month, he had secured a better-paying position in a new industry.

2. Assess the Situation

What it means:
Step back and analyze: what happened, why, and what are the real facts?

A direct instruction you asked to include:
Assess the situation and ask yourself: what is the cause of this tough time? If the fault is yours, you must be ready to correct the error and avoid it next time.

Additional mindset to adopt:
“Nobody owes you anything.” Use this to check entitlement — sometimes we suffer because we relied on others or expected favors. Recognizing that frees you to take responsibility and act.

How to assess:

• List facts (not emotions).
• Identify root causes (people, choices, systems).
• Mark which parts you control and which you don’t.

Example: When a bakery owner’s business began failing, she reviewed her sales records and realized her poor inventory management was causing losses. She corrected the system, and the bakery became profitable again.

3. Develop Resilience

What it means:
Resilience = bounceback. It’s built, not given.

Why humble beginnings matter:
“For you to jump, you must first of all bow; the lower you bow, the higher you can jump.” This reminds you that humility, short-term sacrifice, and hard lessons prepare you for bigger wins.

Also remember:
“The stone which the builder rejected has now become the chief cornerstone.” Rejection, failure or being underestimated can later become your advantage.

How to build resilience:

• Reframe setbacks as learning labs.
• Keep a “failure resume” — list what went wrong + what you learned.
• Practice small, repeated exposures to discomfort.

Example: A woman applied for a promotion three times and was rejected each time. She used the feedback to upskill, and on her fourth attempt, she not only got the role but exceeded the expectations of those who once doubted her.

4. Learn from Others and Seek Support When Necessary

Why this matters:
You don’t need to reinvent every wheel. The right people shorten your road.

A quote to guide who you listen to:
Apostle Joshua Selman once said, “For you to advise me, you must be someone who has failed many times until failure has once been your name.” In short: choose mentors who have walked through fire — they’ll give practical, battle-tested guidance.

How to apply:

• Seek mentors with real failures, not only polished wins.
• Join a peer group where honest lessons are shared.
• Read biographies of people whose painful stories turned into success.

Example: A small business owner struggling with debt found guidance from a retired entrepreneur who had gone bankrupt twice before building a thriving company. The advice helped her recover and grow.

5. Take Care of Yourself

What it means:
Physical health and emotional balance are non-negotiable when facing hardship.

A gentle truth:
“God knows your name.” Remembering your identity and worth — beyond failure or shame — helps you care for yourself rather than beat yourself up.

How to do it:

• Sleep, move, eat simply and well.
• Protect a daily quiet time (walk, prayer, reading).
• Limit toxic people and news during recovery.

Example: After a long period of unemployment, a man focused on eating well, exercising daily, and maintaining a prayer routine. When an opportunity came, he had the energy and confidence to seize it.

6. Reframe Your Mind

What it means:
Change your inner story about the event — from “Why me?” to “What will this teach me?”

Use the scientist’s image:
“For you to jump, you must first of all bow; the lower you bow, the higher you can jump.” Reframing often starts with humility — bowing to reality allows you to rise higher later.

How to reframe:

• Turn “problem” into “project.”
• Ask: “What skill or resource could make this better?”
• Name three possible opportunities hidden in the pain.

Example: When a teacher was laid off, she decided to treat it as a chance to start an online tutoring service. Within a year, she was earning more than her old salary.

7. Pray

What it means:
Prayer or spiritual practice centers you, brings perspective, and connects you with purpose.

Two comforting ideas you asked to include:
“God knows your name” and “God is always one step ahead of you.” These are reminders that you’re not lost in chaos — there is care and a plan beyond immediate sight.

How to make prayer practical:

• Use prayer for clarity, not passivity. Ask, then act.
• Keep prayer paired with journaling: note impressions and next steps.
• Combine faith and work — small acts of obedience build momentum.

Example: A single mother prayed daily for guidance during a financial crisis. Unexpectedly, a former colleague called with a job offer that fit her needs perfectly.

8. Take Action

What it means:
Move from thought to trial. Action breaks the paralysis of pain.

A line to remember:
“There’s always something that can be done.” Even tiny steps shift momentum.

Also remember:
“Nobody owes you anything.” That doesn’t mean you can’t get help; it means your primary responsibility is to act.

How to act:

• Break goals into 15–60 minute tasks.
• Run inexpensive experiments to test solutions.
• If the fault was yours, schedule corrective steps immediately.

Example: When her small store faced closure, a woman started offering home delivery on social media. This small action revived her sales and saved the business.

9. Practice Gratitude

What it means:
Deliberate gratitude shifts your brain from scarcity to resourcefulness.

Why it helps:
Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it balances your view and keeps you open to help and insight.

How to do it:

• Keep a daily 3-item gratitude log.
• Thank people who helped you (even small ways).
• Revisit past victories to renew confidence.

Example: During a tough recovery from surgery, a man wrote down three things he was grateful for each night. The habit kept him motivated and improved his mood.

10. Stay Positive and Persistent

What it means:
Positivity is not blind optimism — it’s realistic hope that sustains long-term effort. Persistence is continuing despite slow progress.

Hard realities to accept:

• “Nobody owes you anything.” This fuels self-reliance and realistic planning.
• “Every successful person has a painful story.” That story usually includes persistence through repeated failure.

How to stay the course:

• Track small wins weekly.
• Build an “if-then” plan: “If X happens, I will do Y.”
• Read or listen to stories of people who persisted (they normalize the grind).

Example: An aspiring author faced more than 20 rejections from publishers. She kept improving her manuscript until one small press accepted it — the book later became a bestseller.

Final note

Tough seasons are chapters, not the whole story. Use calm, clear assessment, humility, action, and persistence — and remember you are the best of yourself. God knows your name. Moreso , God is always one step ahead of you. Pain is common on the road to success; how you use it decides whether it becomes a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

Kind Regards, ANGO CHELSY KIHLA